For many people, the holidays are not the magical season they’re often portrayed to be. Instead of joy, you may feel overwhelmed, lonely, anxious, touched-out, pressured, or exhausted. You might be grieving. You might be navigating family dynamics, financial stress, or burnout. Or you might simply feel disconnected from all the cheer around you.

If this sounds familiar, you’re not alone — and there is nothing wrong with you.

As a psychologist and somatic therapist, I support many clients who struggle through December. Here are 7 trauma-informed, nervous system-friendly tips to help you make it through the holidays even if you’re not feeling festive.

1. Give Yourself Permission Not to Feel Joyful

It’s okay if you’re not excited about the holidays. It’s okay if you’re counting the days until it’s over. Emotional permission is powerful. When you stop forcing yourself to “be in the holiday spirit,” you create space for how you actually feel — grief, tenderness, numbness, or even quiet neutrality.

2. Protect Your Nervous System With Micro-Boundaries

The holidays often come with overstimulation: crowded gatherings, constant planning, cooking, caregiving, and expectations.

Try creating micro-boundaries, such as:

• Leaving events early

• Taking a 5-minute bathroom break to breathe

• Saying “I can come, but only for an hour”

• Turning your phone on Do Not Disturb during overwhelm

• Choosing one thing to say no to each week

  
  

These small boundaries can prevent emotional flooding and help you stay regulated.

3. Honor Your Body’s Signals Before You Push Through

Your body always tells the truth first.

Before entering a holiday event, ask:

• What sensations are showing up?

• Is my breath tight or open?

• Do I feel grounded or activated?

• What do I need right now to feel safer or more comfortable?

  
  

This is a foundational practice in Embodiment Medicine: letting the body lead the way, especially when expectations run high.

4. Create Your Own Meaningful Ritual (Even a Tiny One)

If traditional holiday events don’t resonate, create your own form of belonging.

• A quiet morning walk

• Lighting a candle for someone you miss

• Making a cup of tea before bed

• Journaling for 2 minutes about what your body feels

• A grounding playlist or movement session

Rituals don’t have to be elaborate—they simply have to be yours.

5. Limit Time With People Who Drain You

If certain family dynamics are hard for you, it’s more than okay to limit exposure. Holiday gatherings often bring up old patterns, triggers, and relational wounds.

Try:

• Choosing shorter visits

• Meeting in a neutral setting

• Bringing an ally (partner, friend)

• Driving separately so you can leave when you need to

• Saying no to events you don’t have the capacity for

You are allowed to protect your energy — especially during this season.

6. Rest is Medicine

Rest is not laziness. Rest is regulation.Your body may need more downtime during this season because winter naturally invites us to slow down.

Try:

• A midday nap

• A quiet evening instead of one more gathering

• Blocking off a “do nothing” day

• Letting yourself turn in early

Rest is a form of healing, especially if the holidays bring emotional intensity.

7. Reach Out for Support — You Deserve It

If this season brings up grief, trauma, loneliness, or overwhelm, you don’t have to navigate it alone.

Consider:

• Therapy

• A support group

• A friend you trust

• A somatic or movement practice

• A grounding community space

Support doesn’t mean something is wrong with you. It means you’re human.

You Don’t Need to Pretend —

You Just Need to Breathe

You don’t need to perform holiday cheer or meet unrealistic expectations. You don’t need to “hold it together.” What you need is what your body has been asking for all along: presence, compassion, boundaries, rest, and support.

If this season feels heavy, I’m sending you warmth and steadiness.If it feels lonely, you are not alone.If it feels overwhelming, your body is allowed to soften.

Wishing you gentleness through the holidays — no matter how you feel.

Work With Us at the Center for Embodiment Medicine

We offer:

• Trauma-informed psychotherapy

• Somatic therapy

• Eco-therapy

• Embodiment-based group work

• Expressive arts and movement healing

We accept Medi-Cal / Partnership HealthPlan/CCAH/SFHP at our Santa Cruz and San Rafael locations.Learn more or book a session:

www.centerforembodimentmedicine.com