Radical Belonging and America's 250th

This July 4th, the United States of America will mark its 250th anniversary; that is, 250 years since the signing of the Declaration of Independence.

For some, this is a moment of celebration. For others, it is a moment of reckoning. Either way, it’s a good moment to ask: “Who belongs here?”

quilt pattern by carolinasquirrell on Etsy

At the Center for Embodiment Medicine, we embrace Nature as the great welcomer. A tree doesn’t ask for documents, payment, or any kind of oath before providing shade. The sun has been providing free power to the entire planet for billions of years with no demands in return. The massive underground aquifers that have been storing clean drinking water for millions of years provide it freely (as long as we don’t poison them). Nature welcomes all equally.

Photo by niko photos on Unsplash

The massive experiment that is the United States was only made possible by the absolute abundance of this land. Both the indigenous people and the later settlers inhabited a vast country full of trees, plants, animals, rivers, mountains, and beauty. The ecosystems were rich and the soil was fertile. On that basis, they built thriving communities, creative cultures, and experienced an ever-rising standard of living.

Here at the Center, we'd like to flip the script of this moment on its head. We want to suggest that this is the moment to embrace radical belonging. Radical belonging is the exact opposite of “othering.” If othering pushes apart, belonging is an assertion that you have dignity and worth just by being alive. It is the radical—though it shouldn't be—suggestion that everyone has worth, and everyone belongs here. The truth is, everyone is just trying to fit in.

Belonging is a deeply ingrained human need. As Dr. Kelly-Ann Allen and her colleagues note in their research, the need to connect deeply with other people and secure places is buried deep inside our biology, all the way down to the human genome. Our physical safety and survival are intimately linked with the characteristics of our surrounding social world. In other words, we simply cannot do this alone.

We want to say to you: if you are feeling like you sometimes don’t belong, or most of the time don’t belong, you are not alone. As therapists, we believe in bringing the truth out of the shadows. The experience of being isolated and othered is not rare.

In fact, the US Surgeon General, Dr. Vivek Murthy, published a major advisory entitled “Our Epidemic of Loneliness and Isolation.” Based on years of traveling the country listening to Americans, and all of the most recent research, it warned that we are increasingly pulling apart and away from each other, and the effects are massive. He warned:

“We will pay an ever-increasing price in the form of our individual and collective health and well-being. And we will continue to splinter and divide until we can no longer stand as a community or a country. Instead of coming together to take on the great challenges before us, we will further retreat to our corners—angry, sick, and alone.”

But right in the subtitle of his publication, Dr. Murthy also offered the antidote: “The U.S. Surgeon General’s Advisory on the Healing Effects of Social Connection and Community.”

That is our hope for our extended community—that we can, together, experience the healing effects of social connection and community. That we can come together in joy and celebration, or in sadness and heartache, and support each other. It’s why we hold public talks, trainings, and group work at the Center.

We want to say to our entire community of readers: “You belong here.” We are glad you are with us. We see your unique gifts, as well as your shadows and struggles. We welcome you into our community, and hope to show you as much love as Nature has shown us.

Photo by Jack Cohen on Unsplash